Cold Nights and Crickets
by LiKe a dRuG
Summary: After a bad rape Kaoru begins to tone out sleeping for fear of a repeative nightmare. [yaoi][twincest][rape..duh][smut]
1. No More Sleep

**Title  
**Cold Nights and Crickets**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**Narration**  
Omiscent  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**After a bad rape Kaoru begins to tone out sleeping for fear of a repeative nightmare.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting.  
**Warning  
**Yaoi. Rape. Twincest. Ect.  
**Enjoy**  
--

_The sound of crickets was his only friend as he ran past the crosswalk. It didn't matter to them, together they were unstopable. The world shunned upon them, it was only fine when it was an act. Their parents turned their backs, she turned her back, their fans, half their friends, all turned their backs. They had each other, and that's all they really needed. Shuddering gently Kaoru begun to run. His footsteps hit the ground faster than his heart beat at the moment. "Hikaru.." Kaoru whispered, eyes tightly closed. It was so cold he could see his breath creast over his chin. The rain poured more with every second. Lightning striked, hitting a telephone pole behind him. Goosebumps formed on his skin. A strike of lightning as he came to an abandoned church. Kaoru walked inside, his head bowed low and his hand folded in prayer for forgiveness. This was the day, he had killed his lover. _

Three Months Pryer

Kaoru stared out the window, the darkness taking over the night as crickets begun to chirp. A smile pull across his face, if it wasn't so cold it would have been a perfect night. Hikaru's gargling could be heard from the bathroom that connected to his room. Kaoru brushed his fingertips to the glass window and held his ipod in his hand, one ear piece in his left ear, the other dangling down waiting for Hikaru's right ear. The glass was chilled, cold to touch. Fall started not to long ago, it was the middle of October now. Their sophmore year. They would never forget last year's stunt that nearly costed Hikaru his life, and the club's king. The club still continued to the day, ladies still had their time. Friday night, tonight it was just the two of them. Tomarrow they had been invited to attend a over night at Tamaki's, men only of course. Haruhi was invited, but her father had declined to her sleeping over with a bunch of boys. Hikaru walked out of the bathroom in an old ratty shirt and boxers, his normal nightwear. He walked over to Kaoru, and picked up the right earphone listening in. Kaoru smiled to Hikaru, who had grown three inches taller than Kaoru in the past year. Hikaru sang gently to the music, recconizing the song. Kaoru had something on his mind, but he could never tell Hikaru. He told Hikaru everything, but this might just ruin them. Hikaru could tell his sibling had something running through his head, and decided to call upon it.

"Kaoru? What are you thinking about?"

"...Things... Us.."

"You seem like you're lost in your thought there." a smile and smirk, "Tell me what you're thinking about."

Kaoru bit his lower lip, "Hikaru... Have you ever.. Loved someone you knew you couldn't?" He knew his brother had been acting a little more loving towards him, and he thought he knew what it was. But it was uncalled for to bluntly ask his sibling if he had a crush on him. They _were_ brothers afterall.

Hikaru looked out the window. _Yes._ He shook his head, "Kaoru... You'll never know... Just how much I love you..."

"Hikaru-"

"No Kaoru.. Don't speak.." Hikaru leaned in closer, "Words are not enough to express myself to you.." A devilish grin, "But I know what I _can_ do for you..."

Hikaru picked up Kaoru and brought him to the bed they've shared for years and years now. He layed kaoru on his back and forced a kiss upon him. Kaoru drew a blush, and would refuse to admit he enjoyed it. Kaoru wrapped his arms around Hikaru, as Hikaru's hand roamed lower. Breaking the kiss Hikaru begun to suck on Kaoru's neck.

"Kaoru... You'll feel so good, I promise..."

"Hikaru?" A gasp as Hikaru grasped his member, and stroked it roughly. "Hikaru! Hikaru, enough!! D-d-don't you think we're going to f-far?! Hikaru we're so close... C-can't we ease into this?!"

Hikaru smirked a bit, "You'll love me afterwards Kaoru... I'll make you feel exactly how I feel everytime we shower... I'll make you love me Kaoru."

"Hikaru! No!" pleads called for the older to get off him, but Hikaru refused. He just pushed Kaoru down more, biting his collar bone a bit harder. Kaoru couldn't stand it, his body was betraying him in Hikaru's hand. Maybe if Hikaru was a bit gentler, or maybe if Hikaru slowed down Kaoru might enjoy this a little more. Kaoru felt his legs pryed open and his pants stripped off his form. His shirt was ripped and thrown to the side, soon they were both nothing more then in their birthday suits. Two hard erections rubbing up against each other, moans and pleads filling the empty house. The cold causeing nipples to harden, and the excess from sloppy distracted kisses to freeze. Kaoru groaned a beg one last time as he watched Hikaru lubricate his fingers.

"Please... Hikaru, don't..." Hikaru looked down at the begging younger, and impaled the pinned with all three fingers at once. Kaoru's glossened eyes closed tightly as he kicked to try to stop the pain from happening. Hikaru began to separate his fingers inside Kaoru slightly, stretching him good with one hand while he rubbed himself with the other. Kaoru turned his head to the side and tried to push Hikaru offone last time. Hikaru growled, getting annoied with the pushing away and took the bedsheets, tieing Kaoru's wrists to the bedposts. Hikaru pried Kaoru's legs apart again and positioned himself between them.

"Hikaru... Please.. I BEG you!" Hikaru shook his head. "You'll like it Kaoru..." He thrusted himse in Kaoru violantly and hard. Dragging his nails down Kaoru's sides he held down Kaoru's hips so hard there'd be bruises in the morning. Kaoru screamed bloody murder, kicking and flailing, trying to pull himself off Hikaru. Hikaru pushed in further, harder, faster, searching for that sweet spot. Kaoru flung his head backwards, walking along the edge of passing out. Kaoru became lifeless for a moment, on the verge of consciousness and unconsciousness. Hikaru's backhand settled this.

"Don't want you to miss a second of this love!" Tears formed at Kaoru's eyes. His abused form giving up on even trying to pull itself off Hikaru now. It wasn't long before Hikaru came deep inside Kaoru, making Kaoru shudder with disgust. Kaoru hated sex, it hurt no matter how many sweet words Hikaru spoke.

Kaoru layed in a pile of the mess he lead on. Hikaru left the room, shutting the door behind him. Kaoru's tears were the only sound in the room. He pulled at the bedsheets, ripping them to get his hands free. He wiped the tears from his eyes and pulled his clothes on, a new shirt was needed. Kaoru could barely walk, the first time he stood up he had fallen over. He felt so exposed in his everyday wear, he needed more clothes on. Kaoru threw on boots, a sweater, a beanie, and put up the hood on the sweater. Kaoru sobbed gently, even with all these clothes on he felt naked.

"Why couldn't you just stop when I begged you?!"

Kaoru screamed at the top of his lung, his face covered with tears. He screamed for so long and so loud that his stomach began to hurt. Calming down Kaoru breathed deeply, looking out the window as the fog begun to show on the glass. Why did Hikaru have to ruin such a perfect night?

On the other side of the hall, Hikaru layed with a grin smeared across his face. Near to sleep, Hikaru had thought back on what had just happened, thinking about what Kaoru must have gone through. He knew Kaoru wanted it, why else would he become so hard? Either way he felt bad about it and would make it up to Kaoru in the morning.

"I'll get him chocolates, or bandages, or something..."

Hikaru drifted off to sleep as the younger wouldn't sleep a wink that night.

**--**

** Yes i've started a new story! **

**This one may be a little more graphic for those of you who are used to Tear Stains or Hiding. Yes it still has that format, Hikaru thinks it's right but Kaoru's all negitive about it, but it's graphic. It's a good chance i'll be doing that chapter shoutout to the first reveiwer. **


	2. Medicated Black Out

**Title  
**Cold Nights and Crickets**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**Narration**  
Omiscent  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**After a bad rape Kaoru begins to tone out sleeping for fear of a repeative nightmare.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting.  
**Warning  
**Yaoi. Rape. Twincest. Ect.  
**Enjoy**  
--

_He kept running, right past the school. A taunting voice called out to him, "Kaoru... Kaoru..." Life drained from his paled face, rain turned into ice. "Please," He begged, "Please, no more... I gave it to you once, isn't that enough?" A shadow figure loomed over the poor boy as he backed into a corner. "Please.." Still the shadow taunted, "Kaoru... Kaoru..." Tears formed in the cornered's eyes as they ran down his cheeks. Shaking more now out of fear then the vibrent cold. He tried one last beg, "Hikaru.." But the shadow hissed, "I'll make you love me." _

Kaoru shot up in a loud scream, his voice still horse from an hour or two ago. In times he would have a nightmare, he'd turn to face Hikaru and cling tigtly to him. But this time was different, this time Hikaru _was_ the nightmare. Either way Kaoru could not keep running from his fears, it'd only make him one of those paranoid bunker-house paitents. Kaoru sat at the edge of his bed, and made an attempt to stand to his feet. This failed as his legs gave way, sending him, crashing to the floor. Kaoru closed his eyes gently, as he would spend the night on the floor, awake.

When morning came Hikaru had been the first to knock on his door, with a necklace for Kaoru. He was still to weak to raise from the door, so he called that the door was unlocked as Hikaru stepped in. His eyes went wide seeing his lover on the floor, rushing to his side to pick him up.

"Kaoru... Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

"Hai... I'm fine.. Just... Sore.."

A chuckle, "That's to be expected.." An embrace closer then the heart, "Gomen though.. I should have been gentle.. I just wanted to show you how much you ment to me.."

A weak smile appeared on his face. "You did Hikaru..." Still an uneasy tone to his voice. No matter how loveing Hikaru ment it to be, Kaoru took it as a violation.

"I love you to damn much Kaoru..."

And there it was.. He had said it. Kaoru's form froze in Hikaru's hands. It was true, he did love his brother. But, how far did he actually love him? Whispering in Hikaru's ear he answered, "I.. I love you two.."

Hikaru's smile was bigger then any he passed the night before as he claimed Kaoru's lips as his. He held the younger closer, two hearts beating against each other. Kaoru was finally his, and no one would hurt him.

"Hikaru. Tamaki's house." Kaoru didn't want to go, but this embrace was way to unreal.

"Right right, gomen." Hikaru let Kaoru go.

The two began to pack, well.. Hikaru did. Kaoru continued to be his lifeless self on the bed, waiting for the week to be over and the event to be just a chapter in their history. His body still shook to Hikaru's touch, his mind still roamed over the night. He wanted to leave, he needed to run. He didn't know exactly what he would do if Hikaru wanted a second round. He'd proably go crazy, leaving this world. He'd leave Hikaru with a broken heart. Hikaru could love again, right? Yea, Kaoru was sure of it. But Kaoru feared his own death more then anything in the world. He couldn't kill himself.

Hikaru had left the room, claiming to get dressed himself. Kaoru took his chance, sprinting up and dashing for the bathroom as fast as his weak legs would take him. He searched through the cabnits, _where is it?! _Kaoru growled at himself. A small white bottle he creast ever so gently, as it was a fine royalty. Opening this and taking two would be a fine sleep for at least eight hours. Kaoru took a razor, and begun to cut up two small blue pills. Leaning over he inhaled the powder that was the pills, and begun to feel dizzy. Laughing at himself as he swayed this way and that he forgot all about yesternight's events. Kaoru wobbled out to his room, collapsing on the floor. A medicated black out.

**--**

**Chapter Shoutout To:**

**Chiba.kun!**

**For being the first to reveiw on chapter one:) **


	3. The Addiction

**Title  
**Cold Nights and Crickets**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**Narration**  
Omiscent  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**After a bad rape Kaoru begins to tone out sleeping for fear of a repeative nightmare.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting.  
**Warning  
**Yaoi. Rape. Twincest. Ect.  
**Enjoy**  
--

_Left alone in the cold, Kaoru's body began to shiver. The monster's voice rang in his head, 'I'll make you love me.' Breathing deepily, Kaoru could feel a hand brush his back. He winced as though daggers were replaced instead of fingers. "Go away... Leave me alone..." He begged as a pair of lips touched themselves to his ear, "Do you love me now?"_

Coughing up a bit of blood Kaoru woke, feeling very dizzy. Hikaru's worried shaking was not helping. Kaoru smacked Hikaru's hands away and scurried backwards until he felt his back press against the wall. Hikaru looked worried at the younger, frightened that something had gone wrong.

"Kaoru... You're not having regrets... are you?"

"Eh?" Kaoru gasped between deep inhales. His breathing was taht of one giving labor. Had Hikaru not realized that he had just raped him?! Of course he had to! Kaoru BEGGED for Hikaru to stop! "Peachy." Kaoru stood, a bit shakey.

"Kaoru, are you sure you want to go to Tamaki's? You don't look so good.. You look sickly."

"I'm fine. Can we leave now?"

With a sigh Hikaru stood, grabbing his things and tossing Kaoru his backpack with clothes in it. Kaoru ran his thumb over the arm strap, feeling the soft fabric. He closed his eyes, and swallowed hard as he rose to his feet, and walked out the door. He made sure as to keep his distance from Hikaru, not wanting to be caught in casual chat or damned he be questioned about last night. Pushing himself to walk Kaoru got into the limo, and poped his earphones in before Hikaru got in. Kaoru turned the music on as loud as the ipod would allow him to, as he closed his eyes as tight as they let him. He didn't want to be in the same car Hikaru sat in, he didn't want to be near anyone at this point.

Hikaru, on the other hand, couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with Kaoru. Kaoru had passed out, and now he wanted to zone out? Whatever happened to talking? Their world was falling, and it seemed his attempt to save it last night had made the cracks between them even bigger then they already were. He wanted their closeness back, he wanted to go back to eighth grade when it was only the two of them. Freshmen year was when things begun to tear apart, sophmore year he wanted to pave the cracks that only grew. Junior year, where would they be?

The night was long, and Kaoru had isolated himself from everyone else. Truth or dare came a part of the night as it would in any sleepover. Still Kaoru sat out, faking an upset stomach. In all reality it wasn't such a lie, his stomach was indeed in knots as he begun to develope a strange crave for painkillers. He groaned a bit to himself and wished for teh night to be over.

Unfortunate to Kaoru, the night was longer then any night before it. He got out of teh guest bed, careful not to wake Hikaru from his own sleep, and crept to the bathroom attatched to the room. Kaoru swallowed ten or twelve of the painkillers before everything begun to get soft. He smiled and layed down on the floor, limps spread wide. He stared at the ceiling, not exactly spacing out but not exactly with it. He could feel every pulse in his body surge through every vein he had. Kaoru laughed a bit, tears falling down. He wasn't quiet sure why he was crying, but the tears did feel different. Soon, hiccups came. Every hiccup was more painful then the last. Kaoru coughed, finally getting back to his returned state of relaxation. Kaoru begun to motion his limps as if he were making a snow angel, laughing as he did such.

All Kaoru's laughing cause Hikaru to wake up. He stretched and rubbed his eyes, looking over the edge of the bed to find Kaoru on the floor. Hikaru rose an eyebrow, what the fuck was Kaoru doing?

"Kaoru...?"

Kaoru simply moved his head to face Hikaru, still keeping his satisfied smile. This confused Hikaru to no end. Not even two hours ago did Kaoru want to be the anti-social one in the dark closet, and now he was giggling on the floor making carpet angels? Maybe his brother went insane.

"What in the world are you doing on the floor?"

Still no verbal answer. Just a giggle in return. A burning sensation rose in Kaoru's throat as he began to cough again. Kaoru closed his eyes, yet another medicated sleep.

The next morning when the two had left the Souh estate, Kaoru had the biggest stomach sore he'd ever felt. Kaoru didn't want to talk to anyone, didn't want to move, didn't even want to groan in pain. Tomarrow they had school, neither of them having done their homework. As soon as they got settled in Kaoru's room Hikaru had taken out his homework and begun to complete the half done sheet. Kaoru on the other hand, layed down on his bed, curled towards the window. That night Kaoru would take the pills again, having craved them a second time. He'd expirence the same high he felt at the Souh estate. In the morning he would have a stomach ache, worse then the one he had now. Hikaru bit his lower lip, not knowing what to do about his oto.

**--**

**Chapter Shoutout To:**

**Sanzo Chic**

**For being the first to reveiw on chapter tew :) **

**And for all those who question Kaoru's high scene, that's EXACTLY what happeneds when you take THAT many pills. No, you do not o.d on ten pills. Trust me, I know what it feels like to take ten 300mg painkillers. It's not a pretty site. Just numbs the 'pain'.**


	4. The Estacy

**Title  
**Cold Nights and Crickets**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**Narration**  
Omiscent  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**After a bad rape Kaoru begins to tone out sleeping for fear of a repeative nightmare.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting.  
**Warning  
**Yaoi. Rape. Twincest. Ect.  
**Enjoy**  
--

_"I'm always there, you cannot escape me.. I only want your love, do you love me oto?" A hiss in his ear drew shudders throughout his whole body. He was pinned down against his bed, tears sliding down his face. He knew he didn't want this, he knew all he had to do was say that he wanted out of this love/rape relationship. But he needed it... "Do you love me oto?" Nodding his head tears began to pile on top of each other. "Yes... I love you Hikaru.."_

Daydreams were just as bad as nightmares. He didn't sleep much, which wasn't good for host club. Kaoru was shaking for no reason in particular, entertaining customers seprate from Hikaru then with him as their customers normally liked. It wasn't until Hikaru had neared him did he make the first noise of the day, a yelp to stop. Hikaru rose an eyebrow and retreated back to his side of the couch. Kaoru shook as he tried to bring a teacup to his lips, dropping it as he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders. He looked back to see a customer, she looked like she knew what was going on.

"Follow me."

Her voice was so sencire, Kaoru trusted it. He slipped away from Hikaru and met the customer outside the third music room's doors. She took out a bag with six white pills in it. They were smaller then painkillers and instead of a T they were marked with an E. Before Kaoru had a chance to ask what it was the customer closed his hand around the small baggie.

"It makes the bad memories go away..."

She whispered and kissed Kaoru's cheek, tears running down her own. She walked off before Kaoru even got a chance to be verbal. Kaoru looked at the baggie, wondering what they were. A small slip of paper was rolled up inside with what looked like instructions.

Kaoru walked back into the third music room, pocketing the baggie. He walked over to Hikaru, stareing at the floor. He wondered what would happen if he took the small white pills, and what would happen if Hikaru found out. Kaoru closed his eyes as Hikaru brushed his hand on Kaoru's cheek. Flashbacks ran through his head, begs screamed in his ears, one sentence running itself over and over in his head. _I'll make you love me_. Kaoru closed his eyes tighter, shaking a bit to Hikaru's touch, but oddly enough he leaned into it. He spoke in a shakey fragile voice.

"I love you Hikaru..."

Hikaru pulled back a bit, not expecting Kaoru to finally say he loved him. Maybe.. Just maybe they wouldn't have to fall. Maybe, what he did, brought them closer together.

On the ride home Kaoru seemed more affectionate then normal. Kaoru emptied the space between the two, burying his head in Hikaru's chest. All Kaoru wanted was the closeness of someone who cared for him. Even if the only one who cared for him... Made him what he was.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Kaoru pleaded, as if he had done something wrong. Hikaru held Kaoru close, running his fingers through his hair. This was the moments he always wanted, when the world collasped on Kaoru's shoulders and he would be the one at home with arms wide open.

Kaoru found himself in the bathroom, supposably getting ready for bed. He was in his pajamas as he took out the baggie. The instructions were simple to follow:

'Take two with water'

Kaoru took two pills from the bag and swallowed them with water. It took ten minutes for him to feel the effect of the pills race through his body. He stumbled out to Hikaru's room, a devious smile pulling at his tearstained face. He fell forward, pinning Hikaru on the bed. Hikaru had a confused but pleased expression on his face, although something seemed a bit off.

"Hikaru..."

Kaoru began to knead himself against Hikaru as he panted a whisper in Hikaru's ear.

"Rape me again..."

Hikaru blinked a few times.

"Say that one more time?"

"Rape me again!"

"... I never raped you a first time.."

"Pleeease niisan... I want you to rape me until i've been had..."

Tears formed at Kaoru's eyes, a bit confused at the moment. Hikaru looked Kaoru over, knowing something wasn't right. He kissed Kaoru softly until Kaoru fell forward on his chest, passing out. Hikaru rubbed Kaoru's back gently, laying back and holding Kaoru close to him.

"Kaoru..."

A few tears slipped out from Hikaru's eyes. He knew something was wrong.

**--**

**Chapter Shoutout To:**

**Arykee-chan**

**For being the first to reveiw on chapter three 3 **

**Now, I don't know exactly what it feels like to get high off estacey, not having tried it myself, but I do have great examples at school thumbsup**


	5. A Kaoru in Headlights

**Title  
**Cold Nights and Crickets**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**Narration**  
Omiscent  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**After a bad rape Kaoru begins to tone out sleeping for fear of a repeative nightmare.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting.  
**Warning  
**Yaoi. Rape. Twincest. Ect.  
**Enjoy**  
--

_"Kaoru.." The moans of a pleasured monster panted. Kaoru gripped the monster's shirt tighter, "Why? Why me?" He asked. The monster smirked and begun to buck upwards against Kaoru, "Because I love you." _

Hikaru held Kaoru the whole night, afraid to let him go. Kaoru woke in the morning, shaking in cold sweat. He clung to Hikaru, not understanding why his pulse was overacting. His face was wet with tears for he had been crying the whole night. Hikaru woke up not to long afterward, he looked down at Kaoru who clung to him for dear life. Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru and closed his eyes, one word spoken.

"Why?"

Kaoru pushed away from Hikaru and ran out of the bedroom, tripping on his way to his room. The rugburns were reminders to never enter Hikaru's room again. Kaoru's stomach turned, had he done _that_ again? No.. No, even his subconcious hated the very mentioning of the word. It wasn't even for reproduction!-Nor for pleasure! Kaoru hadn't found pleasure in it before, what made him think he'd take pleasure in it the next time? Kaoru ran through his door and locked it behind him. He dashed for the bed, clenching a pillow to his middle. Kaoru screamed until his voice went hoarse. His hands shook as the pain he made himself forget last night came to him. This time it hurt twice as much, he could feel the steady movement of Hikaru pushing against him, hitting _that_ spot, being so passionate... NO! None of it was passionate! It was forced and unwanted! Kaoru could feel his pulse mock him, laughing at his thoughts.

"Shut up!"

He yelled as loud as a hoarsed man could. He ripped a section of his bedsheet and tied it tightly around his wrists, trying to silence the mocking. The pulse only got louder. Kaoru growled, and punched teh wall near him. This action continued until his hand was nothing more then bone, flesh, and blood. Still the pulse grew, vexing him further. Kaoru broke his window when his fist came in contact with the glass. The glass shattered, falling upon his form. The rain didn't help much, but it hid the tears as it poured through. Glass scattered upon Kaoru, cutting him lightly, but he hadn't taken the time to notice. He stood up, wallked out to the porch, and stood on the railing looking down into the driveway. Tears slide down his face as he could hear his name being called from the inside. Every syllable, every letter, every call irked him further and further until he jumped. He didn't care where he landed, he wanted to fall forever. Hikaru watched in horror from the second story. He ran outside and held the damned close to him. He whispered Kaoru's name gently, wondering what he was thinking. Kaoru coughed and kicked Hikaru off him. Kaoru backed up and stared at Hikaru in shear fear.

"Kaoru what-"

"I **don't** love you Hikaru! I **can't** love you!"

Kaoru begun to run off in no direction in particular. Hikaru stayed in complete silence, and stared sadly in teh direction his first-his ONLY love had ran off into. Hikaru walked back inside and kept his phone on, maybe just maybe Kaoru would call him. Kaoru ran right into a street sign, 'Ouran academy'. there was school today, but he wouldn't be attending. Kaoru layed on the sidewalk, curled into a ball and shaking visibly. He coughed and coughed and pulled his hood over his eyes. He would have to talk to the customer about what he had taken.

Hikaru was the next thing he had seen, leaning over his form, tending to his abused, poor hand. Kaoru flailed and kicked, crying for Hikaru to make it all go away. Hikaru rose an eyebrow and held Kaoru's shoulders firmly.

"Make what go away, Kaoru?"

"Make it **all** go away! Make everything stop! Make time rewind! Make me love you like you promised me!"

Hikaru blinked, putting the pieces together. He held Kaoru closely, "I never ment to hurt you..."

Kaoru kicked Hikaru off him and ran off once again. He had gotten to the city limits before the pain was so unbearable that he collapsed to his knees. He reached in his pocket and pulled out the baggie. Four pills left, he took two out and slipped them in his mouth, swallowing them dry. Kaoru passed out for a moment, and woke up in more pain then he had been in before. He screamed and begun to run blindly. Kaoru ran into the street, a pair of headlights causing him to look like a frightened deer as they struck him. Kaoru layed bruised and bone broken on the street, crying out for Hikaru to save him.

--

**Chapter Shoutout To:**

**Chiba.Kun, Yes people DO normally carry ecstacy around with them.**

**For being the first to reveiw on chapter three 3 **

**If you haven't noticed, on the other stories I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **


	6. Touching Dream

**Title  
**Cold Nights and Crickets**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**Narration**  
Omiscent  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**After a bad rape Kaoru begins to tone out sleeping for fear of a repeative nightmare.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting.  
**Warning  
**Yaoi. Rape. Twincest. Ect.  
**Enjoy**  
--

_"Itai Itai..." "What hurts?" "Everything.." "I'll make it better then." "No, no, it doesn't hurt that bad! Really!" "Nonsense, don't be afraid my love, niisan will help you make it all better.." _

The next morning wasn't the best for Hikaru. The second he got the call that Kaoru had been hit he had been by Kaoru's side. His tears hadn't stopped since the first moan in pain from Kaoru's mouth. His brother was shaking even when he wasn't conscious. His brother-No, his **lover** was in pain and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop him from hurting. Hikaru lent over Kaoru, and had gotten so close their lips barely touched. This action gained stares from both their parents and the doctors. He hushed Kaoru's name as pain shot through his vocal cords.

"Kaoru!!"

He knew he coudln't do anything, and he hated himself for not stopping Kaoru from leaving the house. Takeing Kaoru in a kiss, he forced all himself into the passion of the moment. He gripped Kaoru's shirt tightly between his fingers, wanting Kaoru to wake up and stop this game already.

"Wake up already!"

Hikaru shook Kaoru gently berfore doctors and security came to stop him, bringing him out of the room.

"He's hurting! Wake him up and fix him already! you call yourselfs doctors! You're nothing but preschool students playing pretend!"

"Hikaru, stop your yelling..."

Kaoru's voice was music to his ears as he ran over to him. "Kaoru!"

"Itai... Itai.. Hikaru shutup..."

"Gomen-Gomen... Kaoru... They know now... About us..I-"

"What did you do!!!?"

"I-I only kissed you-"

"No!"

The annoying beeping machine had gotten louder as Kaoru flailed about on the bed. Hikaru watched through glossened eyes as Kaoru went into a heart attack. Kaoru's breathing got more and more stressed until nothing but a flat line appeared.

"KAORU!!!!!"

**-**_**Dream**_**-**

_Kaoru could find himself sitting by a pond, or maybe it was a lake. This was very different from all the other dreams he's had before. Kaoru knew this park well, when he was little he used to play here often. There was nothing but peaceful bliss here. And to make it all better, he was by himself. He bent down and brushed his fingers through the water, feeling the cold chill run up his arm. Kaoru could hear birds chirping sing-songly off in the distance as crows called for their young to come back home, for it was getting late out. Yes, the perfect dream. This was where he wanted to be forever. Kaoru took a deep inhale, Fall was indeed his favorite season. He zipped his hoodie up to mid-chest, smiling into the sky. Kaoru looked to the right, leaves had already taken a mellow brown-yellowish color along with the red and pink ones. Kaoru looked to the right, a pair of young boys played together on the playground. He closed his eyes, listening closely to the young boys' play. Their voices were hard to hear, but clear as a whistle._

_"See Kao-kun? We don't need anyone! Don't mind Mom's talk of making friends or meeting girls! I'll be your friend forever, and you could be my girl!"_

_"Mkay Hika-chan! Forever and ever!"_

_Kaoru looked towards the two boys, having heard two familiar names. He watched the two swing higher and higher until the one on the left jumped off the swing. The boy on the right's eyes opened wide as he got off the swing and ran to his counter part. The boy began to let tears run down his face as the one on the ground begun to snicker until he finally got to his feet and said,_

_"Catch me Hika-chan!!"_

_He began to run. The other chased after. Kaoru watched as the two boys ran around the park millions of times, laughing with each other. Didn't they understand one day they will break apart? Didn't they understand they should let others in their world? Love others? They should be out making different friends! They should... They shouldn't... Whatever Kaoru thought they should or shouldn't, they boys would continue to chase each other and laugh merily. One of the boys tackled the other playfully, still both laughed._

_"Got ya! Let's go to the tree house so Mom won't make us come home early again."_

_"Hai Hika-chan!"_

_The boy on top got up and helped the younger who was underneath him. The two ran off, niisan in front, both holding hands. Kaoru walked towards the boys, following them through the woods and trees until they stopped to climb up an old maple. At the top of the short tree was an old tree house, probably built years before. The two sat inside, laughing about who only knew. Silence came, but it wasn't awkward or still.. Rather.. Rather, warm and welcomed silence. Kaoru climbed up a tree across from the two, as if he would scare them off if they saw him. He sat on a branch, and watched the two boys cuddle up close together. _

_"Hika-chan?" The younger asked weirily._

_"Hm?"_

_"What happeneds... What happeneds when Mom wants us to marry?"_

_"I'll marry you Kaoru."_

_A blush, "H-Hika-chan... You're not a girl though... You're suppose to marry a girl..."_

_"Girls are icky, Marry me instead."_

_"But who will have the babies?"_

_"Kaoru, you dummy! Don't you know where babies come from?"_

_"A Mommy?"_

_"No! The stork."_

_"I don't think you can buy babies at a store Hikaru."_

_"Not store! Stork."_

_"Stork?"_

_"Yea, s'a big bird who you order babies from."_

_"But every baby needs a Mommy and a Daddy Hika-chan..."_

_"I'll be the Daddy."_

_"Why can't I be the Daddy?!"_

_"Cause I'm older."_

_"But-But-But-"_

_"Daddies are suppose to be older Kaoru!"_

_"Fine... But I don't wanna wear dresses."_

_"That's what a Mommy does!"_

_"Hiiika-chaaan..."_

_"And make-up."_

_"HIIIIIKA-CHANNN..."_

_Kaoru smirked at the two boys. Such fools, such innocents, not knowing much about life. It was cute how they promised forever, or at least the niisan did... The younger seemed so unsure, unsure about everything. But one thing was clear to those who could see. The younger, loved his brother. And all the unsurity would never change that._

"KAORU!!! SOMEBODY HELP KAORU!!!"

Hikaru was restrained as a faint beeping wasn't heard over the commotion. Kaoru weakly looked over to Hikaru, watching as doctors tried to push him out of the room. Kaoru smiled a bit, Hikaru was such a persistant bastard. Always worked so hard to get his way.

"Don't you ever get tired?..."

Kaoru chuckled a bit. Hikaru's eyes perked, fixed to Kaoru in the bed. Hikaru could never remember when he'd had ever felt as relived as he was now. Hikaru pushed tehd octors off him and scrambled for the bedside.

"You know what? Fuck this. I'm getting security."

One of the vexed doctors stated, as the rest followed him in a trudge out the door. Hikaru smiled through a rush of tear drops. Kaoru weakly lifted his hand, and wiped away the tears from his lover's face. Hikaru leaned into the touch, crying harder.

"Shh... Hika-chan... It's alright..."

Hikaru smiled again, showing a bit of teeth. Kaoru hadn't called him Hika-chan in months. The two thought this would be the end of all the craziness... But little did they know how wrong they were.

--

**Chapter Shoutout To:**

**Chiba.Kun again 3 love you!!!**

**For being the first to reveiw on chapter four**

**If you haven't noticed, on the other stories I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **


	7. Getting The Acid

**Title  
**Cold Nights and Crickets**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**Narration**  
Omiscent  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**After a bad rape Kaoru begins to tone out sleeping for fear of a repeative nightmare.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting.  
**Warning  
**Yaoi. Rape. Twincest. Ect.  
**Enjoy**  
--

_Are you sleeping? Are you dreaming? If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me? I can't believe, you actually picked me..._

Two Months Later

"Hikaru!!"

A moan rung out into the dead of the night following itself with heavey pants and begs. A mixture of sweat and drool ran down Kaoru's neck as he held his niisan closer still. Hikaru dug his nails deep into Kaoru's hips, pulling him down and spilling deep inside. Kaoru closed his eyes as he followed not to long afterwards, making a mess out of Hikaru and his own stomachs.

Two bodies collaps onto the bed behind them, one holding onto the other who was to tired to move at the moment. Hikaru smiled in a chuckle,

"Have fun riding me?"

Kaoru rolled his bloodshot eyes. Hikaru hadn't notice _this_ time, but he had noticed other times. Kaoru always took his 'medicine' before times like these. '_they stimulate my senses Hikaru_' was his most common excuse. Sure, at times like these Kaoru was most enjoyable, most passionate, most pleasing. But at times like these, this was not Kaoru. Kaoru was never the one to start these 'games' as they called it now. Kaoru, although willing to play, would always wait for Hikaru to start. And of course Hikaru would always have to be on top, Hikaru would have to be slow, Hikaru would have to let Kaoru get used to him before moving, Hikaru would have to whisper Kaoru's name in his ear to reassure him, Hikaru would have to help Kaoru get off, and Hikaru-at the end of it all-would have to tell Kaoru how much he loved him twelve times over and over. Sure, Hikaru didn't mind doing all that for Kaoru, but it was the feeling of slipping up and unsurity in Kaoru's voice that killed him. 'Medicated' Kaoru was machoistic, 'medicated' Kaoru was the one to start, 'medicated' Kaoru loved to scream, 'medicated' Kaoru was always on top, 'medicated' Kaoru would beg, 'medicated' Kaoru didn't need preparation, and 'medicated' Kaoru was the last to fall asleep.

Stumbling on his feet, Kaoru tried to catch himself from falling to the carpet-and failed. Crawling to the bathroom he picked himself up and begun to wipe the cum off himself with the white towel. He wrapped a clean blue towel lazily around his waist, and pressed his lips to his wrists.

"Shhh... Quiet, Hikaru will hear you..."

He told his pulse in a smile. Shuddering he ran his hand up and down his arm, feeling the goosebumps appear from the cold and stiffness of the night. Mid-fall, cold as fuck. Looking in the mirror, a once flawless face filled with color and life has turned into a rather pale one, matching the rest of his skin. His lips, once full and virgin rosey, now blue and swollen with a sloppy kiss. His toes curled around the blood stained rug by the sink, faded eyes that once held beams of endearment closed. If you looked at a photo of Kaoru from when school started, you wouldn't recconize him anymore. This was before the insomia and the 'medication'. But his appearence wasn't what bothered anyone anymore. It was his personality.

If we recall, the Kaoru we once knew was very loving and understanding. Unsure, but positive nonetheless. Well that was then. Now, we have with us a Kaoru who hated everyone except one. Hikaru. Kaoru would get so snippy with anyone who came inches near Hikaru he had once gotten into a fight for it. Kaoru had got sent back to the hospital for his acts, and Hikaru made him promise he woudln't get into fights anymore. Kaoru did not promise anything. This vexing for those who neared Hikaru came to the down fall of his Hosting. Kaoru wanted more and more brotherly acts, Hikaru had to keep reminding him that there were lovely young customers who needed attention. Kaoru would growl and hiss at those moments. Of course he would keep it to himself, not telling Hikaru a dime on his feelings. It wasn't until one day did Kaoru decide he would take all his aggression out on the one person who had gotten close to him. Kaoru had verbally blown up at this girl, causing her to shed more tears then any girl had before in that room. Kaoru had ended his fit by throwing his hand through the wall, not only making a dent but busting his hand up pretty badly. No, Kaoru was not 'expeled' from his hosting duties, because he never went back. Hikaru did though, and this only vexed Kaoru further and further.

He found out the name of that customer that had given him the 'medication'. Ayanokoji(1). Kaoru saw her more and more each month, and she noticed teh changes Kaoru was undergoing. Money was not an issue with Kaoru, he could take fifty pills for the next month without worrying about the cost. Ayanokoji had offered Kaoru a piece of paper with Mickey Mouse stamps on it(2), but who'd get off by chewing a dead tree? Ayanokoji said it was a better high then the pills, but Kaoru didn't feel comfortable with change.

Opening his eyes Kaoru sighed as he glared in the mirror.

"I hate you.."

He stumbled out to the bed he shared with his niisan and curled into him. Hikaru made him feel better about himself. Things became rather scary when Hikaru wasn't there. Everything Kaoru did, everything Kaoru said, was to make Hikaru happy. Why is this? Because subconciously, he still had that fear of Hikaru. Hikaru was his pride and joy, but Hikaru was also his fear and torment. He had dreams of Hikaru, but he also had Nightmares of Hikaru. Kaoru figured, if he could make Hikaru happy then Hikaru wouldn't seem so frightening. Hard to picture, but this was how it was. Hikaru had raped him, there was no turning back from what Hikaru did to him. But Hikaru was the only one who would stand up and admit his love for the younger, and this subsided his fear. But the fear was still there. Kaoru had even gotten afraid of himself at some highs. He looked so much like Hikaru he had tried to change his appearence one to many times. Sometimes it was rather scary to watch Kaoru try to change his appearence, specially when he became gender confused. Kaoru had tried countless times to plaster himself with make-up and dresses he stole from his mother, a few times he had tried to burn himself with candle wax to give a slight difference between himself and his niisan, and in the worst cases Kaoru would take a knife and try to disfigure himself. But no matter what he did, Hikaru would coddle him until all the pain went away and Kaoru went limp in sleep in his arms.

Kaoru hadn't completely knocked out sleep in his life, but it was deffinately rare. It just so happeneds that this morning Kaoru had fallen asleep. Hikaru got up and stretched, looking down at Kaoru who was curled in the fetal position. He sighed and pulled the blankets up over Kaoru's shoulders, covering Kaoru's naked body. He picked up the disguarded towel on the floor and threw it into a hamper.

Hikaru walked to school, stoping to pick up Haruhi. The two talked about their relationships, Haruhi having turned out a lesbian(3) was talking about her relationship with Renge. Hikaru hadn't mentioned much about Kaoru, wanting to conceal the real truth from everyone that their once innocent Kaoru is now not so innocent.

"Didn't she move back to paris?"

"Not yet. But i'm dreading the day she does. She keeps telling me how she'll stay here with me forever, but forevers come and go. Kaoru talk about things like that?"

"Not exactly.. But I don't think we'll seprate anytime soon."

"How's he doing? Last time i saw him... God it's been so long."

As Hikaru went about his day, Kaoru had waken up a few hours later. He refused to go to school at 11:30 and made himself a cup of coffee. Hell, Kaoru _always_ refused school. His head pounded as if an infant were crying in his ears. He sat down at the table and crossed his leg over his knee. He sipped his coffee as he looked through a folder Hikaru had forgotten on the table. A folded square of notebook paper fell from a pocket on the folder and caught Kaoru's eye. He unfurled the paper and begun to read.

(4)Well she didn't technically confirm it yet, but she mentioned something about me tagging along to paris with her. But I'm not sure my father will let me. What was Tamaki whispering to you about? He's so strange.

something about the advisor's unfairness. Ignore him. But tell me more about this trip to paris. Sounds like you'd have a good time there, don't you think? And you'd be with teh one you love which is a BIG plus!

Well, Paris does sound fun. But i don't think i'm ready to leave home just yet. I mean i do have a career as a lawyer to look forward to. And tell Tamaki to quit reading the note!

Ya, like he'll listen. And I forgot about your little lawyer thingie. Maybe you could fight some of the cases that are sure to come up with Kaoru?

Bastard... Hikaru had told her... And further more he had mentioned his 'medication'! Kaoru ripped up the note without reading the bottom half. Through tear filled eyes he galred at the door Hikaru was sure to come through later. But Kaoru knew he wouldn't do anything to upset Hikaru. All Kaoru could do was lay his head down, and curse the day they were born. Hikaru had told her, how much had Hikaru said? Did Hikaru tell her about their 'game'? Had Hikaru told her about his changes? Did Hikaru tell her... No, Hikaru didn't even know what he had done. Kaoru coudl still feel it. After all these months, Kaoru could still feel that rocking and those words. It hurt more then anything in the world. The memories hurt. Kaoru griped his elbows tightly, breaking the skin a bit. Kaoru's chest rose and fell as his breathing became more hate filled, his eyes wanting to pop out of his skull in rage.

Kaoru jumped as the phone rang. Ayanokoji's ID sprung up on the phone. Kaoru picked up and wiped the tears from his eyes as if she could see him.

"Ayano-kun..."

"I got some new shit, maybe you'd be interested in it."

"... Ayano-kun, the pills aren't working anymore.. I take four at a time, but none of it works like it used to work."

"I'm telling you, try cap(5)."

"But... Doesn't it drain your spinal fluid?"

"That's a myth. I'll give you a sheet for a trial. Come by my house soon."

"Hai..."

a click. Kaoru got up and walked down to Ayanokoji's house. He knocked on the door and she lead him into her livingroom.

"Don't use the whole damn thing as one hit. Tear off a corner and use it as your first. Proably won't get a good effect the first time but once you do, you'll see music and hear colors."

"Hear... colors?"

"Yea, it messes with the senses. Pretty good shit right there. I'd do it with you but I got people coming over the house soon and I can't be caught with this kinda stuff."

Kaoru nodded as he was shwon the way out. He walked back to his house, stareing at the sheet of paper with the Mickey Mouse stamps on it. The paper was a bit damp, he wondered what was on it.

--

**(1) Ayanokoji is from the first episode. She is the one who gets jealous of Tamaki's attention towards Haruhi and throws her book bag into the fountain. She got expeled from the host club, but who cares?**

**(2) Acid!!! 3**

**(3) Honestly, she has the whole fuckin host club at her feet and shows no interest in ANY of them. Why is this? LESBIAN. 3 i like her that way.**

**(4) Ever get bored during class and start to pass notes? Well Hikaru and Haruhi get bored during Host Club and pass notes. **

**(5) Nickname for acid. **

**Chapter Shoutout To:**

**Neeka Loveless - Arigatou!!!**

**For being the first to reveiw on chapter four**

**If you haven't noticed, on the other stories I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **


	8. Hikachan

**Title  
**Cold Nights and Crickets**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**Narration**  
Omiscent  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**After a bad rape Kaoru begins to tone out sleeping for fear of a repeative nightmare.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting.  
**Warning  
**Yaoi. Rape. Twincest. Ect.  
**Enjoy**  
--

_"Hikaru.. Itai itai..." "What hurts this time?" "Everything.. My stomach, my skin, my enternce, my head, my heart, my mouth, my neck, my throat, my eyes.. My eyes, Hikaru my eyes are on fire.." "Shh Kaoru.. What did you take?" "I didn't take anything!" "Stop lieing.. Tell nissan what's hurting his love." "Your NOT my love! You're nothing to me! I'm NOT lieing to you!" "I'm not your love? What was last night about? What was the last three months? What was that moaning for? and Those words, the ones that spilt from your mouth like melted ice.. Perfect." _

Kaoru stared at the piece of paper and ripped off a very small corner from it. He stuck the paper in his mouth and sucked gently. The liquid stung his tongue and soon he went into hot sweats. It seemed that everything was moving faster then he could comprehend. He stumbled to the bed and breathed heavily. He looked at the clock, trying to make out the time but it was to blurry to understand. He stared at it for a good 10 minutes before he saw it had said 1:30. Hikaru would be home soon. Kaoru groaned as his libido sky rocketed. He curled his toes as his eyes tightened close, gripping the bedsheets tightly.

"_Hikaruuu_..."

Kaoru moaned. Kaoru crawled into the position he normally took with his lower sticking up in the air and his arms layed between his knees. He bit his lower lip as sweat drizzled from his forehead, the room feeling hotter then it was. Kaoru shivered not to long after, just wishing Hikaru was there.

Hikaru came home half an hour later, tossed his bag to the side and rose an eyebrow at Kaoru. Kaoru looked over to Hikaru and moaned for Hikaru to fuck him.

"...Why? I just got home and I have to study for tomarrow's test. I don't have time tonight to have sex."

Hikaru pulled out his notebook and began to jot down notes from a text book. Kaoru glared and slipped off his pants, begining to rub himself. Moaning louder to distract Hikaru he panted.

"Ohh Hikaru... Please... I _need_ it..."

"No Kaoru. Masturbait, I don't have time to get you off, i already told you."

"Hiiika_ruuuu_... I'm so hard... I'll be on top if you want."

"I want to pass this damn test."

"You don't have to prepare me..."

"Shut up Kaoru! I have to get this work done!"

"We can use the whole tube of lubericant..."

"I don't have anymore. Which means i'd have to go out and get some which would leave me with less time to study. Besides you're the one who never likes having sex. Why should today be so different? It's not our birthday or anniversary."

"uhhhhh PLEASE Hika-chan..."

Hikaru looked up from his work. His eyes blinking, looking over at Kaoru. Kaoru _did_ look temping.. But he _had_ to pass this test.

"... You never call me Hika-chan anymore..."

Hikaru spoke softly and got up, begining to get himself undressed. He got undressed very slowly, which made Kaoru upset but he knew he was gettin some so he could care less. Hikaru drooled on his hand and rubbed himself goos with his saliva. He then took three fingers and sucked on them, making sure to put as much saliva on them as he did his hand. Inserting two fingers he begun to stretch Kaoru. Kaoru moaned loudly and pushed against Hikaru's fingers. Hikaru added the third and began a small rythem.

"_Fuck me Hika-chan_..."

Hikaru removed his fingers and closed his eyes, lost in memories. He pressed into Kaoru and rocked against him. Hikaru held Kaoru's hips so keep Kaoru steady as he thought about when they were little, and Kaoru would call him Hika-chan all the time.

**Hikaru's Memories**

_"Hikaru! Kaoru! Time to come inside! Boys it's raining out!"_

_Their mother called. She went back inside to wait for her sons to run to the house. Unfortunatly this wouldn't happen. It never happened. Hikaru and Kaoru loved to be outside, away from the house where they were always watched and never let alone._

_"Stupid woman... Does she not know her sons by now?"_

_"I guess not Hika-chan.."_

_Kaoru huddled close to his niisan, trying to create warmth. Hikaru held his younger brother close as the rain dripped against the screen house's walls. They were so happy when they were together, alone. Miserble when any of that changed. _

_"Hika-chan? ..."_

_"Yes Kaoru?"_

_"Don't ever leave me..."_

_"Why would you even think that? baka."_

_"Promise me you'll never leave..."_

_"Fine, I promise. But you're weird for thinking that way."_

_"You're the weird one. Last night's noodles should explain everything."_

_"I TOLD you that if you made someone laugh hard enough you could get noodles out their nose!!"_

_"Yea but you didn't have to perform it in front of the people at the party!" A giggle_

_"They were the audience, and I stole the show."_

_"That you did Hika-chan... And I wouldn't love you if you didn't."_

Kaoru pushed Hikaru onto his back and came down on him, riding his niisan. Hikaru came back from being lost in thought and laced his fingers with his brother's. Kaoru begun a faster pace, coming down harder and faster each time.

Hikaru had cum followed by Kaoru who let out a rather loud moan.

"Hikaru!!!!!!!"

Hikaru panted and closed his eyes. Kaoru lent forward to capture Hikaru's lips in afterglow.

"MmmHikaru... I'm so much better then homework... And you're so much better then my hand..."

"... I love you Kaoru..."

Hikaru whispered. Kaoru couldn't completely understand it but nodded in responce. Hikaru didn't understand why his sweet innocent Kaoru had become such an animal, why he acted so different then the Kaoru he fell in love with..

Kaoru woke the next morning, finding what he had done.

--

**Chapter Shoutout To:**

**Chiba.Kun - Arigatou!!! .w.**

**For being the first to reveiw on chapter four**

**If you haven't noticed, on the other stories I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **


	9. Hikaru's Death

**Title  
**Cold Nights and Crickets**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru  
**Narration**  
Omiscent  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**After a bad rape Kaoru begins to tone out sleeping for fear of a repeative nightmare.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting.  
**Warning  
**Yaoi. Rape. Twincest. Ect.  
**Enjoy**  
--

_"Hikaru... I.. I have something to tell you.." "What is it Kaoru?" "It's.. It's reguarding my feelings towards you.." Tears played at Kaoru's eyelids, he wiped them away quickly as not to seem weak. He had to say this, he couldn't live another day knowing Hikaru deserved someone more.. "What is it Kaoru?" "I... I..." Looking up into Hikaru's eyes, he saw worry.. Doubt.. Warm.. Care.. Home.. Love... No, His niisan... "I love you Hikaru." He flung himself into Himaru's arms. Hikaru smiled and held his little brother closer, "I love you too.."_

Kaoru held his head, how could he let himself fall asleep? How could he have done... Have done.. THAT with Hikaru? Kaoru sunk to the floor, crying. Hikaru had woken up to the sobs.

"Kaoru?"

Kaoru only cried harder. Banging on the floor, he felt his whole body shake. He swore he could feel Hikaru within him again, just like their first time. Banging, pulverising him. Kaoru felt as though he would be sick, but he couldn't get to his feet. Hikaru rushed to Kaoru's side, rubbing his back gently. But Kaoru swatted him away.

"Don't touch me!"

Kaoru snapped. Kaoru sprung to his feet, backing up to the wall, glareing through teared eyes at Hikaru.

"I hate you! I hate everything you did! We were so close... We were... I used to... Why Hikaru?! Why would you do such things to me!?"

"Kaoru You asked for-"

"LIES! I would never asked for something as vile as that! You probably prevoked me! Didn't you!? I HATE you! Why can't you leave!?"

Kaoru sunk to the floor, in hysterics. He kept whispering to himself, 'why won't you go away... Just go away..'. Hikaru closed his eyes and walked slowly over to Kaoru.

"Kaoru."

"Go away... Please.."

"Kaoru I-... I didn't know you didn't..."

"Please... Leave..."

"I'll pack my bags."

Hikaru turned around and did just that. Kaoru felt terrible, but this was what he wanted, wasn't it? Kaoru watched his once lover pack his bags to leave him forever. He didn't want Hikaru gone.. He wanted his Niisan back.. Hikaru got dressed while he was at it, and sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror.

"An image unfit to love..."

He blinked slowly before slinging his backpack over his shoulder. Kaoru paniced, this was all his fault. He didn't know what to do, he was shaking and his mind was racing even still. Hikaru looked back to Kaoru, Kaoru looked up with tear filled eyes. A last embrace was shared, Hikaru holding Kaoru ever so gently and as close as he could get him. Kaoru rested his forehead on Hikaru's shoulder. Both of them were letting tears shed. As Hikaru stood up he diverted his eyes from his beloved brother. And with that he left. Kaoru broke down, crying harder then he ever had before. His fist hitting the carpet in self haterd, his yelling making his voice horse, his curses louder then any before. Five hours later, after a drastic bawl, Kaoru shakily took out a silver square box, and shakily took out a piece of damp paper.

"It's because of you! If you were never here i'd still have my Hikaru! You make me think he's a monster!... You call my name at night!..."

Kaoru took out two hits and stuck them on his tongue. Soon, Kaoru was shaking violantly from a bad trip. His eyes were bloodshot, and his teeth chattered. Hikaru opened the door,

"Sorry, forgot my ph-Kaoru!?"

Kaoru was quick to his feet. The cold sweat dripping down his face was hit by the moonlight.

"G-g-get out!!"

"Kaoru, what's happening?!"

"I SAID OUT!"

Kaoru scurried to the bed, tripping over himself as he did so. He reached under the bed, drawing a knife. This knife, was stained with his own blood. Hikaru's eyes widened as Kaoru's lips played with a sadistic smile. Lighting flashed and thunder rolled as Kaoru neared in.

"Well well well Hika-chan.. Guess i've got the upper hand now it seems!"

"K-kaoru, don't."

Kaoru pinned Hikaru up against the wall, pressing his body up against Hikaru's fully with their foreheads touching.

"I never loved you... I HATE YOU HIKA-CHAN!"

Kaoru drove the knife into Hikaru's stomach with great force. Hikaru's eyes widened as they whitened. His saddened expression filling his features as he collapsed to the floor.

Kaoru had woken about an hour later in a daze. He looked around, fully awake once he saw Hikaru lying dead on their floor. Kaoru ran out of the house,

"What have I done...?"

_The sound of crickets was his only friend as he ran past the crosswalk. It didn't matter to them, together they were unstopable. The world shunned upon them, it was only fine when it was an act. Their parents turned their backs, she turned her back, their fans, half their friends, all turned their backs. They had each other, and that's all they really needed. Shuddering gently Kaoru begun to run. His footsteps hit the ground faster than his heart beat at the moment. "Hikaru.." Kaoru whispered, eyes tightly closed. It was so cold he could see his breath creast over his chin. The rain poured more with every second. Lightning striked, hitting a telephone pole behind him. Goosebumps formed on his skin. A strike of lightning as he came to an abandoned church. Kaoru walked inside, his head bowed low and his hand folded in prayer for forgiveness. This was the day, he had killed his lover. _

--

**Chapter Shoutout To:**

**Chiba.Kun - Arigatou!!! .w.**

**For being the first to reveiw on chapter eight**

**If you haven't noticed, on the other stories I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **


End file.
